Shifting Gears

If you've ever watched me drive a stick shift, you'll know I'm not terribly good. First, I'm a wee bit afraid of it-- although I love to drive, I'm scared I'll always kill the engine or do something terribly wrong. Second, it takes a lot of concentration, especially when you're a beginner. You've gotta watch traffic, pay attention to the running car, and mentally calculate when to shift gears. It's a lot to do at once!

To flip that back to my trip, I've come to another period of change this summer. Looking over the past seven weeks, I can see several periods of gear shifting. Arriving in London, attending classes, stopping classes, Katie Beth arriving, starting work, Katie Beth leaving. Every few weeks, something would change. Gears would have to move; I couldn't really stay in one.

But see, I don't switch gears easily, not in a car nor in my life. Switching requires change, which for me is usually movement from comfortable living to uncomfortable living. Remember during my first week when I was pretty down in the dumps about being in London? By the end of classes, I had 'adjusted' as best I could to a schedule of class in the morning, sight-seeing or lectures in the afternoon, and blogging/emailing at night. Then classes ended, and I found myself wanting them back. Think about it, I wanted something that had very previously caused a bunch of discomfort but because I had adjusted, it had become familiar. Weird.

And so there I was, marching off to work every morning wishing to be back in class. Every evening, Katie Beth would regale me with stories about her day's adventures, and every night I would wish I had been there for them. Interesting thing about having Katie Beth here-- I wasn't able to shift gears into 'working full time' mode. I was stuck somewhere between 'student' and 'intern.' Perhaps that's why two weeks before she left I was already struggling with the idea that she would be leaving kinda soon.

Don't get me wrong by any stretch of the imagination. I would by no means have given up the time we spent together for a faster adjustment into 'intern' mode. The times we had will probably be my fondest memories of this study/work abroad experience. I am so very glad she was here, if only for a quarter of my trip. That time was precious.

BANG.

Last Tuesday I decided that's how Katie Beth had come in and that's how she would leave. She arrived June 11th, my birthday and the night we went to the Texas Embassy for supper. Last week, we got together to do something every night. Monday we made cinnamon biscuits (delicious!), Tuesday we went out for supper at a reasonably priced Chinese place, Wednesday we went to Bible study at Bethesda, and Thursday we watched "The Merry Wives of Windsor" at the Globe and ate ice cream afterwards. Friday, the next morning, she left. I couldn't have picked a better way for it all to end.

I just watched the Session III people drag their suitcases up the stairs to their flats above ours. Three and a half weeks ago, the arrival of new people signaled that Katie Beth had made it and that I would see her in just a few hours. Honey, Katie Beth left for home yesterday. Wow. But now their arrival means that I'm just five weeks away from boarding my own flight home. Their arrival signals the passage of time. I decided not to be friendly and say 'hi' to the newcomers, mostly for my own protection-- I'm trying to shift gears today.